Don’t-Want-to-Think-too-Hard Piece on Justin Timberlakes Halftime Show


I got to get my Justin Timberlake thoughts out of my head or they are going to grow into an unbearable and unnecessary full-length think piece.

So here it is real quick:

1. Justin is Michael Jackson’s nightmare. I don’t blame Justin for being white and being addicted to performing the world’s most captivating music, but seeing him dance and sing on stage reminds me of the horrible dreams young Michael must’ve had since he was 8 or 9, waiting for the white man to replace him. Michael was a student of pop history. He knew it was a matter of time. I’m convinced he altered his appearance trying to be the white version of himself he knew America wanted.

2. Justin should’ve refused to do the Super Bowl without Janet. It is patently unfair that Janet Jackson was turned into the whore of Super Bowls past when Justin is the one who did the actual ripping away of the clothes to expose her breast. I think I can summarize the problem here simply with a bible story. You know that famous one where Jesus said “he who is without sin cast the first stone”? Well, before he said that to the mob trying to stone a women for fornicating he said (and I’m loosely translating) “Where the hell is the man? If she was fornicating there were two of them, right? WTF is wrong with y’all?”. That is what the world did to Janet, and Justin could’ve made up for being to cowardly to stand up for her by bringing her back out for this Super Bowl.

3. That Prince duet is still precisely what Prince demanded no one ever did with him. Okay, it wasn’t a hologram, but it was a tacky digital duet with a man who claimed a spiritual connection with his music and a hate for these kinds of displays. Justin valued a cheap gimmick to promote his album over respecting the wishes of one of our greatest icons.

Justin has now tarnished two of our greatest black musical icons in two Super Bowl performances. But knowing how America works, he probably has another 7 or 8 halftime shows left in him.

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