Hello Michael Vick,
My name is Bomani Armah and I am life long die-hard Washington football fan. I am writing this letter to ask you to sign with my favorite team for the next four to six years and here is why.
You, no doubt, are worried about whether or not the Philadelphia Eagles will retain your services for the estimated $15 million dollars you are scheduled to make in 2013. As one of the most explosive and entertaining football players in the history of the league, we all know that there will be at least 3 or 4 teams that feel as if you can fill their immediate quarterback needs (but not for nearly for the same amount of money you’re currently making). Playoff teams, like the Minnesota Vikings, and a host of other teams that feel they are a tweak away from the playoffs (i.e. NY Jets or St. Louis Rams) are definitely trying to figure out how much gas you have in the tank. I’m not sure if these are big enough market teams, or what their salary situation looks like, but more importantly, all of them are a year or two away (other than Minnesota) from being a viable contender.
Can you risk being paid top dollar to have your career ended with another killer shot from an unblocked linebacker or defensive end? Your best bet for this stage of your career is to be the most overpaid (yet invaluable) back up QB in the history of the league. We all know that money is not an object to Daniel Snyder. One year he famously signed all the best players of 1994 in a special “name your price” deal to our beloved team (unfortunately this was in 2000, 6 years after their primes). Come to Washington D.C. and get paid $7 million a year to come off the bench for the next 5 years, or go to NY and get paid $10 million for the next 2 years until you have your spine realigned by an unblocked outside linebackers.
Here in Washington you will be back up to the biggest superstar in this city since Barack Obama. The only way a person could be any more popular is if JFK came back and played quarterback in RFK stadium. You’ll also be less than two hours from home in Newport News VA. You could be on the sidelines and soak up the sun at Virginia Tech games while being the most effective booster they’ve ever had, while still playing professionally! That’s an unheard of perk in modern football. If you stay in Philadelphia (which is highly unlikely) the fans that so infamously booed Santa Claus are about 2 weeks away from bringing out the dog fighting props on the sidelines in an attempt to get you run out of town. Here in DC, however, we believe in redemption, second chances, and your performance on your job outweighing anything you do off the field. Just ask Mayor for life Marion Barry.
For the record, this is not a racial solidarity thing. Yes we are the Chocolate City (with a marshmallow center) and the home of Doug Williams, but I’m completely over sports as a racial identity game. I wouldn’t be asking Byron Leftwich, or even Warren Moon to come join this team. We need Kordell Stewart or Randall Cunningham, to finally be utilized in the way that makes sense for football. Shanahan is in a position to usher in a new era of football, which just goes back to the old (really old) era of football. One day my children will laugh when I tell them that a quarterback running the football on a called running play was once thought to be extraordinary.
“Dad, why would you possibly have someone on the field in a skill position who cannot run with the ball?”.
“I don’t know son. I think that the pocket quarterback, just like later inventions like the helmet radio, let the old slow guys calling plays from the bench feel like the game was more cerebral than it really is.”
In reality, you should just have the biggest fastest guys running over and around the other players in the simplest way possible. 4 yards per carry (not on average, literally 4 yards every play) will get you a touchdown every single time. The Shanahans have shown their dedication to the run game before, and now find themselves in a unique position to be the greatest running team in the history of the sport. Between Cam Newton and Russell Wilson, we are seeing what has always made sense in football. Even “athletic QB” Andrew Luck will start running called QB running plays once the RGIII led ‘Skins show how consistently you can win with this elementary style of play.
At most you can expect 3 or 4 starts in a season. Just know that all the fans will be praying to black Jesus against that. More than likely you’re going to get 3 to 4 snaps a game, when RGIII is winded by a 60 yard run, or when Demarcus Ware doesn’t fall for the play fake before RGIII swings it around on a naked bootleg, leaving Mr. Griffin with a few moments on the ground (then the sidelines) to think about his life. You are not as accurate a passer as RGIII, but with the way linebackers and strong safeties will be forced to bite on the play action and zone option, when you do pass it will be to the most wide-open receivers you’ve ever had in your professional career.
I’m tired of watching RGIII sliding in the middle of the football field like Bryce Harper, afraid to finish his plays like a football player. Side note: for all those saying that RGIII needs to slide more often, the two times he got knocked out of games in 2012 were when he slid. I’m okay with him “giving-up” on a run, but he should end his plays with the ball covered and his shoulder pads leaning forward, otherwise he’s just asking to get hurt again. He needs to know, and the rest of us fans whose pulmonary health is directly aligned to the success of our football team on Sunday’s during the fall, that the team will be okay if he gets hurt. It is unfair, and unrealistic to the football team to have two different playbooks for the “running QB” and the “regular QB”. Which brings us to Kirk Cousins.
Much respect to Kirk Cousins. The Shanahans out did themselves with that pick. He is a starting NFL QB somewhere, but there is no need for that to be in Washington DC, especially when we can use him to get a 1st round pick. We could use a receiver that will catch the ball on a regular basis and take some pressure off Garcon and Moss (in his last few seasons) or fill in the holes of our porous secondary. Kirk should be traded forthwith, making room for you on the bench. We can find another young running QB to be the third string and learn behind the two greatest to ever play the position that way.
Mr. Vick, I have not given up on the 2012 season. I completely expect my team to beat Seattle (only because the game is in Landover and not Seattle). I’ve looked at the playoff teams, and there is literally no one we can’t beat. After Seattle any win would no doubt be an upset, but if you run the ball and don’t turn it over, you can beat anyone. This request is more about looking into the future. We are a Super Bowl contender every year for the foreseeable future. The late 90’s through now have been a bad time in our history, especially considering our number one rival has won 3 Super Bowls since our last one. If you are on our team, you will play longer, make more money, and our superstar will play an aggressive style that will shatter the record books and lead us to numerous victories. That’s all I’m asking. Just give Mr. Snyder a call.
2 thoughts on “Open Letter to Michael Vick from a Washington Football Team Fan”
Please trust me on this one — you don’t want Michael Vick on your football team. You just don’t.
Hard to say, I like vick, but lets say majority of fans probably do not.
is that Snyder holding cash? that is so cliche to see.